Bathroom Reno - Part 4

We are now at the finish of the project.  The vanity is in place, toilet installed, everything painted and the contractor for the glass door has finished his work.

When the contractor finished the floor he redid the entrance threshold and matched the wood in our floors with a very nice threshold that is easy for a walker to go over.  I did ask for the threshold for accessibility, but, I didn't expect a perfect colour match! 

First time my wife took a shower it was without any assistance from me.  All I had to do was put in a small table for her shower supplies and put the shower head on it.  Dropped the seat, closed the doors and did something by herself she couldn't do since her stroke... Take a shower by herself!  All she asks now is for me to bring out new towels and face cloths for her and after to help dry her hair.  She is loving the independence that the shower gives her and my back is grateful every time.

The renovation itself was a bit costly, but, worth every penny.  We have a shower that is handicap accessible, has non-slip floors, good lighting and looks great.  We didn't skimp on the materials and with the cost of the contractors (part of the project we had a plumber and electrician along with the main contractor) the project was $21k (original guestimate by me was $20k so it was close).

Bathroom Reno - Part 1

When we bought our condo the bathroom was usable, but, not accessible.  The tub was just under 56 cm (22 inches) high and the rail for the glass door added another 4 cm (almost 2 inches).  When you cannot bend your leg getting in an out is a real challenge.  The glass door wasn't mounted correctly and after a lot of vulgar words I got that mounted properly so the door would work properly, but, it was an obstacle for my wife using the shower.  There also were no grab bars so every time she wanted a shower I mounted suction cup bars.  There was no seating for her so we used a temporary stool.  

Her showers were rather painful as I had to assist her getting in and out and the tiling on the floor wasn't non-slip and I had a few minor falls.  After several months I drew up a basic must-have list for a bathroom renovation.

• Everything was to be gutted back to the studs.  I wanted to see what was there and if there were any mold and structural issues.
• Non-slip tiles.  As I mentioned I had a few minor falls, fortunately it was just me and not my wife.
• Better toilet at a height the wife would find comfortable.
• Much improved lighting.  The bathroom was fairly dark and when in the shower it was difficult to see.
• Improved venting.  The old fan was way under sized and I wanted at least 100 cfm.
• Custom glass so that there was a door that would swing either direction.
• Shower with a minimal lip so that the wife can get in and out by herself.
• Improved vanity.  The old taps were much too low and too close to the back of the sink to be comfortable using.
• Grab bar anchored to the wall and a seat so that my wife can sit while showering.

With that list we visited Home Depot and had a discussion with them about the reno, materials and hiring a contractor.  They were excellent and had great suggestions on the tiles, grout, paints, fixtures and a contractor.  Unfortunately we then went into a lock down for COVID and the project was on hold.  Upside we were able to have the materials delivered and I stored it all in our basement.

Next up will be the gutting of the room.

Accessibility in the house

Last year we bought a new house to live in.  After decades of renting we had saved enough to put a rather substantial down payment on a condo.  When we looked at the place I went through the place and while not perfect, it was good enough and is very close to work.  With the way prices of houses are increasing in Ottawa we are glad we were able to buy before being priced out of the market.

Projects

After moving in we identified a number of projects that will aid my wife getting around as she has limited mobility due to a stroke.

• Bathroom
• The tub is about 56 cm (22 inches) with the railing for the glass doors adding another 5 cm (2 inches).  My wife cannot get in or out without help and the various options are just a band-aid solution.
• Tiles are not non-slip.
• Under sized fan.
• Dim lighting.
• Front entry
• No railing and when entering and exiting she needs someone to assist.
• Back entry
• This is an old concrete stair with two steps and barely in code.
• Kitchen
• Redo the kitchen faucet to one more friendly for a person who has problems using one arm.
• Later a complete paint with a much lighter colour.
• Ground floor half-bath
• Redo the half-bath.  It is functional, but, the tiling and vanity does need replacement and a small cabinet above the toilet so we can store extra towels, toilet paper and soap.
• Other
• Installation of railings for the stairs to the basement family room.
• New entry tile.  Right now it does get a bit slippery when wet and being white it shows all dirt quickly.
• New paint for all rooms.  The paint is OK, but, very dark and we prefer having lighter colours.

Bathroom Renovation - Project 1

We started with the bathroom renovation, but, it is on hold at this time due to the latest COVID lock-down.

• Replace all of the floor with a new tile. The tile is specifically for wet areas and is non-slip.  That is a good thing as I have fallen once and slipped several times when the current tiles get wet.
• Completely remove the bath, glass doors and false drop on the ceiling.  We are using the same tiles on the floor here and doing a walk in shower and a custom glass door.  The walls are being replaced with a new lighter coloured ceramic tile.  Ceiling will have an LED light as there is nothing there right now and the shower does get dark.  The walls will have blocking put in for two grab bars and a shower seat that can be raised and lowered.
• New LED lights to replace the inexpensive lights there.  The lights are functional, but, is a major pain to replace the bulbs.
• New fan. The current one is old and a 50 CFM model and the contractor indicated that it should be a minimum of 100 CFM.
• Lighter paint.  Current paint is a dark, rather ugly yellowish.  New paint is a light sandy colour with an eggshell finish.  I asked the contractor about the finish and he indicated that eggshell will hide any flaws in the current drywall.
• Redo the ceiling.  The bathroom has a popcorn finish and I am certain that it isn't a paint suited to a damp environment.
• New vanity and faucet.  We are going with faucets where the hot & cold water taps are paddles so that someone with limited arm use can easily use.  Also the current vanity you have to take out all of the drawers if you have to work on the water or drain lines.  The new vanity all plumbing is easily accessible.
• Replace the light switch with three switches.  One for vanity light, one for shower light and the third for the fan.
• New toilets.  The current ones are functional, but, for my wife they are not comfortable and it takes an effort getting up and down.  The half-bath toilet is also being replaced at the same time.

We are looking forward to the lock-down being lifted and getting a start date for the project.

Update on tiles 2021-04-23:

Found out from the contractor we need mosaic as there will be a slope and the 6x24 tiles won't work there as they have to be a max of 2x2.  Not a problem and I ordered some nice tiles after chatting with Home Depot.  They recommended one that the colours will complement the floor tiles and are also non-slip.  

Front entry Rails - Project 2

Once that is completed I will be doing the paper work for the condo board for railing installation on the front entry area.  

Back yard entrance - Project 3

The back yard entry will be a major project.  I was checking online for a ramp system, but, with a 1/12 slope most of the yard we have would be occupied by the ramp system.  If we go with where the top of the steps are (35 cm high) we are looking at 4.2 meters for a straight run and that won't fit in the yard.  If we put in one 90 it will be about 3 meters out and 3 meters after the 90 degree turn which will take up a huge portion of the back yard.  If we raise that up to just under the door threshold it will add at least 1.5 meters to the run.  It looks like some sort of custom mini-deck out the door with steps and railings.

Finish

The timing on this depends on how the first three projects goes and how much they cost in total.  The cost for the first is firm and includes the contractor, trades, materials I purchased and taxes.  The last two are rough estimates at this time.

• The bathroom renovation has a budget of $20k.
• Front railing at most is $1k.
• Back entry should be in the $5-6k range.

A small, but, big victory

For many people they may not think the following is a big thing, but, for someone who had a stroke and their caregivers it is a wonderful thing.

For the last week Jane has improved her dexterity and strength in her left arm and hand such that she can easily clean and make a new pot of coffee and to unload the dishwasher.  The first is nice, but, the second is huge to us.  Her left side was impacted by the stroke and she has balance and mobility issues still.  She is doing exercises for the arm and leg and over time the strength, flexibility and balance has been coming back.  With the dishwasher she has to bend over to lift dishes and utensils from the bottom rack, pivot and walk across the kitchen to put away the clean dishes.  While the glasses are done right handed she is using the left hand to lift and store the plastic cups, small pots and the dishes.  The first time she did it she called me at work to let me know what she could do.  It was a huge psychological boost for her and she felt that she was contributing more to helping out around the house.

For some time now if I partially prepare the meal and place it in the refrigerator and have the slow cooker on the counter she can prepare simple hot dinners.  It is more than just making meals, cleaning up, she feels that she is contributing to the house work and not dependent on others for everything.

Sometimes it isn't the major things that is a major victory in your recovery, it is the smallest things we do used to do every day and have taken it for granted.  The stroke has taken being able to many simple things away from Jane like making a pot of coffee and doing dishes, but, slowly over time she has started doing those little tasks again.

Things I learned and still learning about being a caregiver.

This is just a short personal story of my being a caregiver for my wife. Nothing fancy or very organized, just a quick summary what we went through when my wife had a stroke.  A quick summary of the process and afterwards and the things I learned (some the hard way).

The Story

September 15th, 2015 at 07:00 she had a stroke.  She was lucky as both my daughter and myself were at home and we recognized the signs and called 911.  They did a quick assessment and then transported her to the Civic.  For the first week she was in the ICU and I was not totally sure if she would survive let alone how much function she would have afterwards. She lost the ability to speak or swallow and complete loss of voluntary movement on her left side.  For that period of time I was in the hospital with her almost 24 hours a day.  I was home only long enough for a shower, shave and change of clothes.  The staff at the Civic were great and had a chair that was fairly comfortable for me so I wasn't too far away and could nap at times.  When she was stable she was transferred up to the neurology floor for the next several weeks.  At that point I could go home for a few hours of sleep, do basic chores around the house (like getting meals for our teen-aged daughter).  I was still spending most of my time there.  I observed what the staff were doing, how they did it and why.  The staff were also willing to explain things to me as I was more than willing to learn.  With that information I was able to help assist my wife in the basics of recovering use of her hand, leg and voice.  I will admit it was long, frustrating at times and very tiring.  Most evenings I would go home barely able to walk and didn't think anything about that.

After almost a month she was transferred to the Bruyere hospital for rehab.  The staff there are great and pushed Jane and really encouraged Jane to push herself for recovering from the effects of the stroke.  At this point I was back at work and lunch hours I could walk to the hospital and then spend evenings there with her.  All that time I was helping her work on her various exercises she needed to do.  We also were able to go outside for short walks and the staff encouraged that.  At the end of the night I would take the bus home and like before I was so exhausted that I could barely walk.

On the 12th of November she was discharged as she could do a lot of basic tasks on her own without assistance.  They were little things like going up/down stairs, dressing herself and making a sandwich.  We then followed that up with several more months of physio therapy twice a week.  At that point I could work full time at work without worrying too much about her.  When I got home I would then prepare the meals, clean up the dishes, do some of the housework and other tasks.  Again, at the end of the night I was totally exhausted, but, I thought it was just the workload and stress.  Weekends were spent doing running around for food and other tasks that had to be done.  I also was taking time off during the weeks for all of her doctor appointments helping her get to where she had to be and then back home.

All through this I was going non-stop with no time off for myself.  Cooking, cleaning, shopping, helping her with the basic needs, doctor appointments.  My normal day started at about 06:00 and I was busy most days until 23:30 and on most nights 01:00 in the morning.  I thought I could do this, but, my body decided it had enough two weeks after she got home.  On a Saturday night I experienced chest pains that radiated out to both arms, sweating and nausea.  All the symptoms of a heart attack.  I did call 911 and the paramedics couldn't see anything on the monitors, but, when I explained my family history they quickly took me to the emergency room.  The doctors there are great and they had me wired up for just about everything.  It took a few hours, but, the figured out that it was just stress and one other problem that I didn't know I had and ignored the one sign.  The big clue was I was almost always tired.  Seems that my blood sugar when I was in emergency was way over 14, I was a diabetic and didn't know it.  I knew years before I had gout, arthritis and kidney stones and adjusted my diet and lifestyle for that.  My family doctor had more tests done and confirmed that I was diabetic.  He had a list of things for me.  Pills for the diabetes, lose more weight, eat a bit better and rest.  He explained that I needed to feel less guilty for taking some personal time off while caring for my wife.

That is the hardest thing for me to do.  I still feel guilty taking personal time off to watch a movie, read a book or check out what is on the internet, but, I am feeling a lot better now that I am getting proper breaks and rest.  I also learned to prioritize what is needed and what is nice-to-have.  The house isn't perfectly clean (like before), but, it is clean enough.  Laundry doesn't need to be washed, dried, folded and put away on the same night, it is OK to let the clean clothes sit in the bin for a day or two.  I don't have to cook massive gourmet meals every night of the week, some nights ordering out is a treat and I get to have a short break for meal preparation.

Another thing I learned is to keep track of what my wife can and cannot do.  When I see her doing something new I let her know and the positive feedback encourages her to keep working.  It is slow, but, even a simple thing like picking up a kleenex with her left hand was a major accomplishment.  Even after a year she quickly tires out, but, we are now going out once a week where she can walk 15-60 minutes and talk to people we know.  It is a small thing, but, she loves doing this and comes back home feeling accomplished.  There are those who don't quite understand and thinks she can go non-stop now for hours without a problem and is just faking it.  Trust me, it isn't faking, the last time we had a major outing (grandchildren bithday party) she forced herself for almost four hours and then was completely exhausted for the next two days.

Lessons I learned (some the hard way):

• Proper nutrition for the person who had a stroke, but, also for yourself as a caregiver.
• Time off to rest and recover.  If you don't take some time for rest your body will tell you enough and then you need a caregiver yourself.  It does not have to be a lot.  For me an hour or two most evenings helps with the rare day off.
• It is stressful, physically and emotionally.  You need hobbies and time to do the hobbies.
• Feeling guilty is normal.  It isn't selfish to want a bit of 'me' time.
• There are resources available, use them!  They are there for the stroke victim and for caregivers.
• Spread out the workload if you can.  You cannot be there 100% of the time.If friends and family want to help, and, can help let them!
• Be patient with the stroke victim.  It takes time for them to relearn how to make things work again.
• Be prepared for a lot of appointments.  Physiotherapy, family doctor, neurologists, eye specialists to name a few.  I was surprised by the number of appointments, usually 1-2 a week at the start and slowing down to 1-2 a month after about 6 months.
• Plan ahead.  For appointments have a plan on how the person gets to and from the appointment (even if it is just you).  Let the stroke victim know ahead of time so that they are not stressed about that portion of the appointment.  Ask them ahead of time if they have any questions, problems or concern and write them down for the doctor or physiotherapist.
• Track their medications.  Know what they are taking, dosage and when it needs to be taken.  Familiarize yourself with some of the side effects so you are aware of what they are and watch for them.  
• One of the things for medications is order my wife's refills a month before they run out.  It may be a bit ahead of time, but, things do happen and that way we don't panic as there are sufficient medications at all times.
• If the stroke patient was a smoker be prepared for the withdrawal.  My wife was a heavy smoker before her stroke and she is now smoke free.  The first few weeks in the hospital she was so heavily medicated that we were spared most of the symptoms.  After that she was moderately 'moody' for several weeks following that period.  For almost a year she was coughing up a lot as her lungs were cleaning out the crap that built up over the decades of smoking.  One of the benefits is that she now tastes food more and things she didn't like before she now likes!
• Never take anything for granted.  Every day is precious and should be enjoyed to the fullest.